Kay Kramer Wade died at home on April 5,2021, in the company of her family. She was born in 1936, the daughter of Raymond E. Kessler and Irene B. Kessler. She grew up in West Hartford and graduated from the "original" Hall High School (Class of 1954). She attended Syracuse University and left after her junior year to be married to Herman Lazarus with whom she had three children. Kay later earned her degree at Trinity College as the first person to graduate as a member of the first IDP (Independent Degree Program) program (1976). She continued her education by obtaining a Master's Degree from the University of Connecticut School of Social Work (1979).
She began her career in Social Work as a Pastoral Counselor at Middlesex Hospital in Middletown. She was a licensed Clinical Social Worker and worked initially with Dr, Bernie Siegel. She was involved in implementing the first hospice program in Connecticut. She later maintained a private practice in West Hartford continuing her work with the terminally ill and their families. She also designed and taught a course at Central Connecticut State University (now CCSU) on aging and issues related to death and dying.
Kay was later married to Herbert J. Kramer who had been a Vice President of the Travelers Insurance Company and then as Director of Communications for the Joseph P. Kennedy Foundation in Washington, D.C. Kay traveled with Herb widely in Austria and Switzerland and accompanied him across this country on Foundation projects. such as the Special Olympics and the War on Poverty.
As Herb faced a terminal cancer condition he and Kay authored Conversations at Midnight: Coming to Terms with Death and Dying structured as a series of dialogues and reflections regarding the process of death and dying. It went through several US printings and was also published in the Netherlands and Japan. Following publication of Conversations Kay was interviewed on Good Morning America and appeared with Dr. Sherwin Nuland as a guest on the Charlie Rose show.
Following Herb's death Kay continued her social work practice in West Hartford. She married her Cape Cod neighbor, James R. Wade, and they lived in Denver, Colorado; East Orleans and Chatham, Massachusetts. They moved back to West Hartford from the Cape to be closer to family. In later years she especially enjoyed the social and intellectual stimulation of attending Jim's college and law school reunions.
Professionally Kay 's approach to psychotherapy was eclectic, with her focus on family systems and on the writings of Carl Jung and Joseph Campbell. She attended Jung Society seminars throughout her professional career (including meetings in Ireland, Barbados, and the Hudson Valley in New York). She combined critical thinking process with a deep interest in politics and the affairs of the day.
Kay enjoyed entertaining at her beautiful home, surrounded by art and antiques, items of beauty and grace. She enjoyed being hostess in her home to her Hall High School Reunions Committee. Her circle of friends was wide and lasting - reaching from the West (Colorado and Santa Fe, New Mexico) to Cape Cod.
She is survived by her loving husband of 27 years, Jim; her children, Nancy Taylor of West Hartford, Connecticut; John Lazarus of Divide, Colorado; and Heidi Lachut (William) of West Hartford, Connecticut; two step-daughters, Sarah Swank (David) and Katherine Swabey (Charles); and their children, Glenn Swank, Margaret Swank, Oliver Swabey, and Cornelia Swabey (who called her Grandma Kay-Kay). She was especially close to her three grandchildren, grandson, Kylor, Madeline, and Isabella Lachut (who called her Boppie).
The family wishes to thank Hartford Healthcare Hospice for its sensitive care of Kay and her family during the last weeks of her life and also the home health aides who cared for her as well.
Funeral arrangements are being handled by Sheehan-Hilborn-Breen Funeral Home, West Hartford. A private burial will held at Fairview Cemetery, West Hartford. A memorial service to celebrate her life is scheduled at First Church, 12 South Main St, in West Hartford at 11:00am on Saturday, April 17, 2021.
*Preregistration will be requested at:
http://bit.ly/KayWade
Donations in her memory may be made to The Elizabeth Park Conservancy (elizabethparkct.org), West Hartford, Connecticut, or the World Wildlife Fund (worldwildlife.org). Online condolences may be made at www.SheehanHilbornBreen.com